Karva Chauth!!

People have different reasons for following a tradition. Personally I don’t have anything against this particular festival but I don’t like it. In fact all my dislikes are now turning into hatred with passing years as I am forced into doing it every time and that too the way others want.

Reasons for not liking this festival are simple. It makes men gods and women who keep them being gods. Everything is done in order to please men in the family and men in turn don’t raise a finger and just enjoy the pampering. As if other days in the year were not enough!! There are so many issues in this particular tradition that need to be changed. For example:

  • Why it is that women are not asked if they would like to keep this fast before making them do it?
  • Why is it that men’s lives are more important than a women’s?
  • Why is that in spite of keeping the fast where women don’t have to drink a drop of water the whole day, its females only who have to cook dishes as per 100-year-old norms in the evening (which take at least 2 hours to prepare). Can’t men do it for at least one day when they have been eating drinking all day?
  • Why is it that DIL have to gift her MIL and other in-laws and DIL’s parents have to gift the whole clan but no one thinks about gifting a single thing to her or her parents? Are they not important? Not that DIL’s want anything but a gesture would be good after doing all this and gifting so much to everyone?
  • Why is it important to touch husbands’ feet on this day during pooja for breaking the fast? Is he bigger than the wife that he can bless her? And if blessing is so important then why not other way round too?
  • If the wife stays home on this day (rather than going to office) she has to cook all three meals and countless teas even when she is the one who should be hungry? Why won’t she prefer office that day? At least colleagues are more understanding in that. And even when they are not, at least you can decide not to work too much that day and take care of things later.  Why is that option not at home?
  • Why is that everything has to be carried out the same way that MIL did? We are sure that she was capable of doing all this effortlessly (maybe she wanted to do all that). But is it required to expect all that from DIL too?

These things might sound silly to a lot of people and they might think either why the writer is worrying about such trivial things or why do women tolerate these things and why not speak up. But the writer knows that it’s not easy to speak up always from her personal experience. Since it’s coming up soon and my in-laws are going to be here to make sure I follow everything that’s why all this is coming out. But seriously why is anyone forced to do anything for the other person?

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2 thoughts on “Karva Chauth!!

  1. Hey AIG! How are you doing? I’ve been following all your posts, but couldn’t comment. I was so confused and depressed, I couldn’t even think straight for a min. With so many things happening around me lately, the words I’m hearing daily from the one who I thought loved me, and my deteriorating health, I’ve finally decided to leave. I don’t have a job now, so once my health gets better, I will begin my job search. I can’t leave immediately, I don’t have energy at present to face the drama that will commence when I announce my decision (My in-laws are here for a visit, they are so male chauvinistic, illiterate,ignorant people, they just won’t let me go without completely breaking my will to live, though they and their precious son succeeded a little bit). My parents and close friends are all supporting my decision, for that I’m very grateful. I think I am ready to move on, but to tell you the truth, I am scared and still hope(though it’s a very faint hope) he will finally realise what he and his family have done to me and comes back. And I feel guilty for admitting that last thought.

    Hoping you find the clarity you seek, soon! (I am not sure if I’ve found it.)
    Take care!

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